(Listen to the MP3 file.)
Doc, you thought you found the answer in that fossil you dug up last night.
But when you woke up in the mornin' the bones just weren’t looking right.
Well, there's nothin' that you ain't tried
To satisfy your foolish pride.
But old Darwin’s theory, simply just ain't right.
Links just keep gettin' harder to find.
And all your Links ain't bringin' you peace of mind.
Before your funding runs out, Doc, you better get straight,
There just are no Links!
Well you think you're gonna find yourself a bone that wins the Nobel Prize.
But it ain't happened yet, so Doc you better think twice!
Don't you see no matter what you do,
You'll never find an ape like you!
And if you keep on lookin'
You'll have to pay the price. ‘Cause Missing
No, you won’t find links, Doc,
To help you make yourself a name
That road goes nowhere
You better fund your research lab another way!
[repeat chorus and fade]